The Secret and How it has Changed My Life

Back in 2011, my older sister let me borrow this book.  She was raving about how simplistic it’s lessons were, and how much sense it made.

When I first started reading, I could not put it down!  Every single sentence resonated within me so strongly.

Basically put, like attracts like- meaning good feelings bring good situations, and bad feelings bring bad ones. Everything is energy. We radiate this energy out in a frequency if you will, and said energy literally vibrates as it attracts things to us. So when I say ‘good vibes only’ I mean that shit.

I decided to start applying this crazy talk to my life, and things started to change drastically.  I used the principles I was learning from the book, to make immediate changes with my job, schooling, living environment, and relationships.

At the time I was working at a fast food restaurant full time, going to school full time, single, forever exhausted, and always stressed out.  I was going non-stop and was so incredibly lonely.  Though I told myself I was okay living my life like this until I got my degree, that was far from the case. I put the lessons from the book into action, and within a few months had met my soul mate and gotten married.  (We just celebrated our 4th anniversary so it wasn’t a total sham!) I also moved to the beautiful state of Colorado, and was suddenly free from every single little thing that was previously weighing heavily on my soul. And I had an elephant on my soul, let me tell ya.

My mind had been cleared and I was ready for the real deal. But what was the ‘real deal’? That I was not sure.

What would you ask for if you knew the answer would always be yes? What would you do for a living if you had the choice to be anything you wanted? How would your life change if the limitations of your current situation vanished?

As your eyes skip down this page I can hear you you think to yourself hogwash. No my friend, this is very real stuff.  And there is a ton of research and bullshit to sift through.  But this stuff works. I have used the creative process to land job after job, and to create situation after situation.

I would like to touch more on a few things in particular about this secret. The first one being, if you think that you have no control over your life situations and things just happen to you think again. Your life is not the bi-product of chance.  We have the power to choose to let things affect us in a negative or positive light.  Don’t let yourself be on autopiolet. Live with a purpose.  Choose to be positive about every little detail. We must set our intentions every single day.  Loud intentions if you will.

The second point I would like to briefly touch on is what the book describes as the creative process. Ask, Believe, Recieve. But even before you ask, you have to be crystal clear on what you want. Like specifics. Do you want a new car? Or do you want a new 2016 Urban Blue Pearl Metallic Kia Rio LX, with black woven cloth seating??

Then you have to believe that it can come into your life. You need to believe that you are deserving of it, and that it is possible to have. Then all you have to do, is practice feeling how you will feel once you have it! Which is the receiving part! And the most fun.  Visualization may be very helpful during the receiving process, and has been an incredible tool in my life, and with practice, it can be for you too! I would like to go into farther detail in this creative process in the future, perhaps in a seperate blog post.

One last thing I would like to point out, is the vitality of learning to live with an Attitude of Grattitude. We are so privileged. Yes, you are so privileged. And if you don’t think so, then you are missing out on a great way to gain and keep perspective- and if you don’t mind me saying so you need to work on that. The more you are grateful for, the more things you will attract into your life to be grateful for. And it starts with the smaIl stuff.

I have always been full of gratitude. And even more so when I read this book. But it wasn’t until this past Christmas that I realized I had only just scratched the surface. My older sister bought me a gratitude journal as a Christmas gift. I write in it almost daily and the paradigm shift I have experienced has been phenomenal.

Now, the book explains everything in much greater detail. But it is a must read for those who are looking to harness their inner potential. So invest in yourself, in your well being and in your future by taking the time to read it!  I know for certain, that I’m grateful it came into my life at such a young age.

 

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Dealing with Mid-Life Crisis

Sometimes you freak out.  You don’t have a college degree, maybe you had a child before you were prepared, possibly got married at a young age?  After high school came a series of unplanned and impulsive decisions. Okay okay, maybe I am just describing myself here but- either way we all have these moments every so often in our lives, when we just can’t help but have a proper meltdown about where we are going in life.

A mid life crisis is defined (by Wikipedia mind you) as “a period of doubt, anxiety, and dissatisfaction that some people experience in their middle age.”

AHEM- may I just point out that it says middle age. NOT early 20’s. I am still in my 20’s and feel like I experience these way more than I should. But whatever age you are, I personally think that with the right mindset, mid-life crisis are something we can all easily avoid/overcome.

One thing that may send us spiraling into this over thinking frenzy, may be unintentionally comparing ourselves to our peers.  I have friends who are running very successful businesses, some who are working on Master’s degrees, some who have already bought a house for crying out loud! Every once in awhile I will catch myself thinking about how far ahead of me they are in life and kick myself for being so ‘all over the place.’  Then I remember, I really am pretty darn content where I am right now.  Comparison is the thief of joy- so stop doing that!

We’ve all heard the phrase ‘everyone wants what they don’t have.’ Well maybe you should consider taking a look at what you do have, and practice feeling grateful for having it.  Teach yourself to want what you already have.

I live in a small apartment with my husband and son.  I am not currently in school, nor have I completed any degree, however I have received certifications that allow me to have a full time job in a field that I have been working to get into for a couple years now.  I left college and moved 1000 miles from home to marry my husband after only a few months of knowing him at the age of 19.  When I was 20 I found out that I was pregnant with my son, shortly after my dog ate my birth control.  I have worked several dead end jobs.  Some for long periods of time, and some of them for fleeting periods of time.  If ever I was unhappy or felt I could not be myself at my place of work, I always quickly found something else and left.  I never allowed my circumstances to define me.  I have never felt ‘stuck.’  Every impulsive ‘crazy’ decision I have ever made in the long run has ultimately brought me happiness.

My youngest sister always said she admired me for quickly changing my course whenever I was unhappy.  The funny thing is, I always admired her for knowing exactly what she wanted, and sticking to her guns about her life choices to make something of herself. She will be graduating college this May.  And I will be her biggest fan when she walks across that stage.  She is doing two final projects about…… (drum-roll please!)……her big sister! THAT’S ME! I am so flattered about this, that it makes me realize that choosing what you know is best for yourself, no matter how strange it may seem to others, is okay. And in doing so, you may unknowingly inspire someone else to take some big leap and unconventionally follow their heart into uncharted territory.

Sam and Zoey

I think society places incredible pressure on young people to have it altogether now more than ever.  I have always said that when my son graduates high school, I will not make him feel like he needs to have his life figured out right away.  I want to encourage him to pursue his passions.  I want him to dabble- to experience trial and error (just like his mommy.) Unless however he thinks that he knows exactly what he wants, and getting his education in whatever field is what he chooses.  I want to put emphasis on life skills instead of education.  I certainly don’t mean to down play the importance of education by any means, I just don’t believe it is a  requirement to be a successful, happy person.

Thanks to Facebook, it is almost common knowledge now that at age 23: J.K. Rowling was broke, Oprah Winfrey was a TV reporter, Tina Fey was working at the YMCA, and Walt Disney had just filed for bankruptcy. While they were in these situations, every single one of them were working on their dreams on the side.  Maybe you should consider turning off Netflix every once in awhile and work on figuring out what your dream might be. After that, work at them with all you have!  Imagine what your life might be like if the answer was yes to everything you asked for.  You are uniquely made; therefore no one else in this world thinks like you do.  No one else has your perspective, and believe me when I say you are important, and you do have great things to offer this world.

Many people hesitate when it comes down to pursuing a new passion.  They have limiting beliefs about what they can and cannot accomplish.  Understand this- if you believe that you are  incapable of achieving something, I promise that you will never achieve it.  On the other hand, if you can convince your mind that you can have anything you want, and that you deserve to have everything that you want, I promise that you can!

Now is not the time to squander our passions and dreams. Now is always the time to feed them. To be frank, it doesn’t matter what your age is, old or young, you have enough time to create the life you want. There is always enough time to pursue a new dream.  Stop hesitating.  Stop deliberating.  Change your course and don’t look back. Learn how to accept failure as a lesson and move on.  Understand how to internalize doubts that others express about you.  That is a reflection of how they feel about themselves. If you have a dream, or a goal, don’t ever give up on it. No matter what your current circumstances are.

If you have never read the book The Secret I highly suggest it.  This is something I have been studying for years.  My older sister gave it to me as a gift a very long time ago, and it has changed my life in so many ways. Without going into too much detail, it is mostly about how we create our own happiness.  How we can mold our perspective in every moment of our lives, to live how we truly want to live. Now, you might be thinking “yeah okay I have heard about that crap” but before you roll your eyes so hard that you go blind, consider this-  have you ever met a truly happy person with a bad attitude? Doubtful. I want to write about this topic in more detail later on down the road, but for now let’s just focus on your attitude.

I like people in general.  Hell I love most everybody! One type of person I will not tolerate however- is a complainer.  They are just a drag to be around.  It’s like they think the more vocal they are about how much things suck, the more likely it will change. The thing about that though, is when we focus solely on the things that suck in our lives, we start to lose sight of the good things! And on the flip side- when we start to focus our attention on the good things we have, then we start to lose sight of the bad things, which is a great thing!

I am not saying that we should ignore our problems, but we should never dwell on them.

This brings me back to my point of gratitude.  Instead of magnifying situations that piss you off, shift your energy and focus to the things that bring you contentment.  If this is hard for you to do, maybe try to become more mindful of things you have that you should be grateful for- simple things such as: a home, a working vehicle, your health, the health of your loved ones, food in your fridge, a safe place to live.  Do you have toilet paper in your bathroom?? Be thankful for that! (We were at one point too poor to buy toilet paper, and since then I will always be thankful to have it in the house.)

Practice makes perfect, and though it might seem silly to start noticing these small but important privileges that you absolutely do have in your life, acknowledging the smaller things is what will help you with that mental shift in your way of thinking.